Gamebreaking
by BoredParanoia
Summary: The Institute of War regularly places regulations on their champions in order to balance the playing fields. Here are their rulings.
1. Gamebreaker 1: Graves

This is pretty much crack, as it has various regulations that the institue places on its champions in order to balance the game. So here we go.

Gamebreaker 1: Graves

"Alright, after this, we'll finish off their inhibitor turret. Got that?" Twisted Fate shouted as he threw a card right into Baron Nashor's face.

"Roger." Teemo said as he blew a dart.

"I hear you." Singed confirmed as he smashed his shield against Baron Nashor's serpentine body.

"He he he." Shaco giggled, too entranced in stabbing his knives into soft flesh.

"I'll do it." Sion grunted as he drove his axe.

Just as Baron was about to die, a giant flaming projectile smashed into it. Feeling the last drops of life leave, it feel, squishing Teemo under it.

"EXECUTED!"

The rest of the team were dumbfounded. Well, they weren't suprised at what happened to Teemo since he should have known better than to stand under a giant sea serpent when it died.

"What just happened?" Singed asked.

Twisted Fate frowned. "Don't care. Retreat!"

As the four began to leave, Shaco saw out of the corner of his eye a small health bar disappear. Seeing the opportunity to stab his knives into more flesh, he decieved away.

Boom! "An ally has been slain!"

"What the?"

Suddenly, a cloud of smoke kicked up and obscured Sion and Singed.

Bang! "Augh!"

Snikt! "The Pain!"

"Double Kill!"

Now running, Twisted Fate made it into the jungle. Breathing hard, he stopped as he heard growling. Suddenly, a blur appeared in front of him, and a pain made itself apparent in his chest.

"Triple Kill!"

"Ha ha ha! See, I told you that this would worked Nidalee!" Graves laughed as he inspected Twisted Fate's corpse.

Feeling something hard impact against his head, Graves saw his saddle on the floor, and an irate Nidalee rubbing her back. Graves held out his hands in defense.

"Okay, okay. I'll never do that again." As Nidalee went away to join the mid push, Graves rubbed his chin.

"I wonder if Sejuani will let me borrow that boar of hers."

Regulation #513: Malcolm Graves will not be allowed to use a mounted animal.


	2. Gamebreaker 2: Brand

Gamebreaker 2: Brand

The summoner's watched as the champions exited the summoning platform. They all smelled like smoke and fire. Some even looked a little distraut, as Ahri tried to smooth out one of her tails that had been blackened by fire.

One of the summoners stepped up and approached Swain, who looked down on his singed clothes.

"What happened?" The summoner asked.

Swain sighed.

"Brand."

Meanwhile, at Summoner's Rift…

"Whee!"

Brand cried as he set another tree on fire. Turning around, he inspected the burning wasteland that was Summoner's Rift.

"It's times like this that I am glad to be alive!" Brand squealed as he skipped off to inspect his handiwork.

Regulation #3254: Fields of Justice must be fireproofed before Brand is summoned.


	3. Gamebreaker 3:Ziggs

It was a slaughter at mid lane. Six champions lay fallen, with Heimerdinger and Ziggs breathing hard, battered and bruised. Lee Sin and Sejuani had managed to escape.

"Well, at least we have managed to defeat half their team." Heimerdinger sighed, adjusting his goggles.

Ziggs, on the other hand, grinned so hard, his face muscles were about to snap like overused rope.

"EXCELLENT! I can use my newest and latest invention!" Ziggs cried, as he rummaged through whatever he used to keep his hexplosives.

"Newest and latest invention?" Heimerdinger asked, with a tilted head and a raised eyebrow… that is if he has them under those goggles.

"BEHOLD! THE MEGA INFERNO BOMB MARK TWO!" Ziggs cried as he held out his newest hexplosive for the revered inventor to inspect.

"Uh, Ziggs? This looks like your Mega Inferno Bomb mark one…" Heimerdinger observed.

Ziggs never came closer to punching Heimerdinger in the face.

"It is not my Mega Inferno Bomb mark one! It is much better! LET ME DEMONSTRATE ITS SUPERIORITY!"

As Ziggs got ready to throw it, Heimerdinger remembered something.

"Umm, Ziggs. Are you sure this will work?"

Ziggs only laughed.

"HA HA HA! I HAVE NO IDEA!"

"WHAT?"

With the strength of a hundred yordles, Ziggs threw the mighty mega inferno bomb mark two into the sky.

Meanwhile, Sejuani was riding back to back, with Lee Sin in tow.

"I thank you, Sejuani. I would have surely perished. How can this monk repay you?"

The evil smile on Sejuani was unseen, as she surveyed Lee's muscles.

"Well, tell me. What do you think about S & M?"

"…What is this S & M you speak of?"

Then the Mega Inferno Bomb Mark Two hit.

Summoners watched as the field of justice known as Summoner's Rift was reduced to a giant mushroom cloud. A certain group of them, responsible for cleaning up Summoner's Rift after the event known as "The Brand Incident", gave voice to their feelings.

"FUUUUU-"

Regulation #692: Ziggs will not be allowed to bring untested hexplosives to the fields of justice.


	4. Gamebreaker 4: Sona

A team fight has just broken out at bottom river. Garen's fist met with Katarina's leg. Nocturne dodged Cho'gath's Vorpal Spikes and slashed its face with his umbra blades. Udyr and Lee Sin engaged in a martial arts fight so incredible it would have made any martial arts enthusiast stand in awe. Oh, and Kassadin just smashed a null sphere into Gargas' face.

Sona floated around, trying to keep everyone alive with her music. Unbeknownst to her, Alistar saw the prefect moment to strike. Rushing forward, Alistar slammed his fists into the ground, sending Sona flying into the air.

However, Sona's dress came loose.

Suddenly, a bright light radiated at bottom river. The fighting stopped as everyone turned to behold the light. As their eyes adjusted, a myriad of reactions took place.

Garen's jaw dropped.

Katarina looked down with a blush of mortification.

Nocturne's eyes began to secrete the closest thing he had to tears. "The light…it's so warm…"

Cho'gath stood in awe. "To think that there is something in this world that doesn't fill me with disgust…"

Udyr was silent, a hand idly extending out.

Lee Sin felt a pulsing in his eyes. Taking off his blindfold, his world was bathed in light. "I-I CAN SEE!"

Kassadin's reaction couldn't be measured, since he wore that mask.

Gragas dropped his barrel. "Is this was it feels like to be sober?"

Alistar ****ped his pants.

Unaware of her power, Sona was bright red as she quietly covered herself. The reactions became instant as the light disappeared.

Garen had no time to mourn as Katarina leapt onto him. Her eyes tearing up, she began to choke him as she screamed "TELL ME I'M PRETTY!"

"You're pretty! YOU'RE PRETTY!" Garen screamed, as he slowly turned blue.

"More! I NEED MORE!" Nocturne screamed, his wispy arms raised to the heavens.

Cho'gath was in the closest he body can provide to a fetal position. "This world…AS IF IT COULDN'T GET ANY UGLIER!"

Udyr closed his hand and stared at it.

Lee Sin's newly found eyesight vanished. "****!"

Kassadin fell to his knees.

Gragas, for the first time, drank out of depression.

Alistar slinked away, feeling utterly embarrassed.

The match was soon cancelled, the reason being that nearly all the champions on the field suffering an existential crisis. Except for Garen, who suffered from oxygen deprivation and an existential crisis.

Regulation #636: Sona must meet with head summoners to discuss possible wardrobe changes.


	5. Gamebreaker 5: Poppy

Poppy and Ezreal stood in front of the mid inhibitor turret, both on their last legs. The enemy team of Gangplank, Nautilus, Ashe, Ryze and Kayle were about ready to come and destroy them all.

"Well…we're boned." Ezreal commented as he shot a magic projectile at an enemy minion.

"Well, I guess you can say," Poppy commented as she smashed her hammer into an enemy minions face, "this is 'Poppy'-cock."

Everything stopped, as the enemy looked at Poppy.

"Arr, my head be hurting…" Gangplank said as he clutched his head.

Suddenly, the enemy fell down on their faces and died.

**"PENTAKILL!"**"

Poppy smiled. "Wow, that was unexpected, right Ezreal?"

No comment came from the Prodigial Explorer, as he too fell down and died.

**"An ally has been slain!"**

Upon inspection, it was found that Poppy's joke was so bad, it gave everyone that heard it a massive brain aneurysm.

Regulation #324: Poppy will not be allowed to make any jokes.


	6. Gamebreaker 6: Gragas

In Summoner's Rift, it was chaos. The minions were rushing to get back to the nexus. Baron Nashor helped the wolves and golems up before slithering over the wall. The dragon flew away, the two lizard tribes riding on its back. The champions were running to get to the emergency portal.

Twisted Fate was running as fast as he could, before tripping and landing on his ankle wrong. Screaming in pain, the card master tried to get up and limp, only to fall down again. As sweat rolled down his face, he gritted his teeth.

This was the end.

Suddenly, someone lifted his up and slung him over their shoulders. Looking to see his savior, he was shocked to stare at Malcolm Graves, his ex-partner.

"W-why?" Fate asked, briefly losing his sense of cool. Graves just stared at him evenly.

"There's some things that are just too cruel, even for you." Graves growled, sounding somewhat disgusted with himself.

As the two entered the portal, they came out on the summoning platform. There, nearly every one present turned to stare at the improbable scene. Twisted Fate leaned in to whisper in the outlaw's ear. "You can let me down now."

Suddenly, Graves slung Twisted Fate off his shoulders, performing a fireman carry slam on the card master. As Twisted Fate groaned in pain, the outlaw stood over him, a smirk curling his lips.

"There, I let you down."

After the portal closed, there was silence in Summoner's Rift. Then a giant green cloud emerged out of the jungle As the cloud settled over the field of justice, the rabble rouser emerged from out of the jungle.

"Oh man, that was a stinky one!"

Looking around the deserted area, he asked out loud.

"Does anyone have some toilet paper I can borrow?"

Regulation #471: Gragas must relieve himself before a match.


	7. Author's Note

Hello, this is BoredParanoia.

I'm glad you enjoy my works, and I am glad of that. The reason that I tell you this is that "Gamebreaking" is a thread in the fanfiction section of the League of Legends forums. If you read other's ideas, or even create your own moments of OP, then search for "Gamebreaking" with "TheStalwart as the first post.

See you there!


	8. Gamebreaker 7: Jarvan IV

The entire team laid fallen, and Shyvana was on the brink of death. Breathing heavily, Shyvana's vision was beginning to fade to black as her body began to shut down. Suddenly, the form of Jarvan IV's worried face appeared in her vision.

"M-my liege…" Shyvana whispered. Jarvan shushed her.

"Don't worry, Shyvana. It will be over soon."

The Half-Dragon wondered at her liege's words, before realizing that her team had just called a surrender vote. Quickly casting a vote for no, she looked to her liege, who had never looked more depressed than now. His summoner had summoned him for the first time, and ended up giving the enemy free kills. Just as her liege cast his vote, her hands reached out and grabbed his face. Bringing his ear closer to her mouth, she then began to sing.

_"O Stalwart and Earnest State"_

Jarvan's hands went slack as the song penetrated his brain.

_"We shall ever rise"_

_"With flames burning in our breast"_

_"We charge the enemy!"_

Shyvana quickly swallowed to allow herself some air.

_"Demacia, Demacia"_

_"May your strength never fail thee"_

_"And your crusade shall never fade"_

_"For now and forever!"_

As Shyvana's hands fell off, Jarvan grabbed and squeezed her hand. "S-Shyvana…"

The half-dragon smiled up to her liege. "Do what you feel you should, my liege."

With that, the last drops of life bled out.

**"An ally has been slain!"**

The prince of Demacia sat there, holding Shyvana's hand, until another announcement broke his reverie.

**"Your team has lost a tower!"**

With that, Jarvan decided.

"Such an easy victory…" Sion sneered as he chopped at the inhibitor.

"Mundo thinks Demacians get soft!" Mundo said as his cleaver bit into the inhibitor.

Talon, Swain and Viktor said nothing.

Suddenly…

Talon's ears picked up something. "Do you hear that?"

"DEMACIA!"

Jarvan dropped onto the group, creating a ring of earth and squishing Talon and Viktor under his feet. As the group watched, Jarvan slowly stood up straight, revealing his nude upper body. His chest hair was shaped in the Demacian emblem. The Prince of Demacia brandished his dual lances… and roared as he leapt into battle. The group charged in as well, seeing it as a 3 vs 1, with the odds in their favor.

The battle didn't go well…for the enemy team that is.

_Crack!_

"You call that breaking Mundo's spine? Mundo says-"

_CRACK!_

"MUNDO'S SPINE!"

**"An enemy has been slain!"**

Sion leapt into battle, Chopper eager to chop into flesh. Jarvan swung one of his lances. Chopper's head flew off. Sion stopped, and immediately broke down as he held the broken pieces of his beloved axe.

"CHOPPER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"

With that, Sion hugged the broken pieces, rivulets of tears flowing down his cheeks.

**"An enemy has been emotionally incapitated!"**

Swain gulped as he flattened against the walls. Jarvan now noticed him and was advancing towards him. The Master Tactician of Noxus devoted all his brain power to devising an escape plan.

"Think logically for one second!"

_SNAP!_

"MY LEGS! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"

Regulation #310: Jarvan will not hear the Demacian national anthem while in the Fields of Justice.


	9. Gamebreaker 8: Kog'Maw

It was a complete disaster. All the lane turrets have been demolished, and 3/5s of their team was dead. The worst part? It wasn't even the ten minute mark.

Graves and Ahri was all that remained as they desperately tried to defend their base from the enemy onslaught. They took cover behind the mid inhibitor turret, peeping out and taking potshots at whoever they can get.

"You alright over there, fox?" Graves asked as he reloaded his shotgun.

Ahri was breathing hard as her Orb of Deception returned to her. "I'm running low on mana. Not too sure how long I can stay."

Graves peeked, before shooting a bunch of buckshot into the minion wave, leaving Twisted Fate to take the tower fire.

"Has everyone respawned yet?"

Ahri quickly checked the scoreboard.

"Yeah, everyone's here."

Graves nodded, as he cocked his shotgun.

"Good, take everyone and circle around them."

Ahri turned to him.

"What about you?"

Graves held up his shotgun and cocked it.

"Are you insane? You'll be killed!"

Graves smirked.

"Don't worry fox. I've had these kind of odds before. Now get moving!"

Ahri sat still, before hugging Graves.

"Just stay safe, okay?"

Graves sat there, before wrapping one arm around her.

"It's the only I do well, fox."

With that, Ahri ran back, preparing to execute the plan. Graves sighed deeply, before getting up.

"Alright, Malcolm... Let's show them some frontier hospitality!"

Malcolm Graves came out with guns blazing.

_10 minutes later..._

The nexus blew up, but Twisted Fate, Cassopeia, Sejuani, and Rumble weren't concerned about that. They were trying to keep some distance away from Kog'maw, who was having another bout of vomiting.

Regulation #501: Kog'maw will not be allowed to participate with any kind of disease.  
Corollary #125a: ...especially with Stomach Flu.


	10. Gamebreaker 9: Heimerdinger

It was quiet in Summoner's Rift. Too quiet.

"RUN!"

The entire minions ran as fast as their little legs could. Rammus was rolling so fast, Sonic would have been jealous. Tryndamere had ditched his sword completely. Twitch was nowhere to be seen. LeBlanc tried to run as fast as she could in her heels.

The reason? On their heels was Heimerdinger, riding the ugraded platform towers, with legs.

"THAT'S RIGHT! RUN! RUN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Regulation #103: Heimerdinger will not be allowed to upgrade the towers.


	11. Gamebreaker 10: Spin To Win

The heavens trembled. The seas roared. The thunder cracked. Champions of all shapes and sizes cowered. The summoners of the Institute of War could only wait, as the place shook.

"YAAA!" Wukong, the Monkey King, screamed.

"RAH!" Tryndamere, the Barbarian King, raged.

"DEMACIA!" Garen, the Might of Demacia, shouted.

For that day, all creation stood still, as they bore witness to this mighty challenge.

Regulation #2: Garen, Wukong, and Tryadamere will not be allowed to have "Spin-to-win" contests.


	12. Gamebreaker 11: Udyr

It should have been an easy victory. 4 of the enemy team were slain, all their turrets were destroyed and a veritable army of minions were baring down.

It was surely the end.

As Jarvan, Sona, Zilean, Ziggs, and Maokai reached the Nexus, they saw Udyr standing there. He stared at them, the defiant rock against the insurmontable wave. Preparing their assault, the team stopped. Music was playing, and Sona wasn't playing. In fact, it sounded like an entire orchestra. As the music mounted, they looked at Udyr.

Udyr stared at his glowing fist, before staring at the enemy team.

"This hand of ours burns with a mighty power. It's roar calls for triumph!"

Udyr now reared back, preparing to punch.

"TAKE THIS! OUR RAGE, OUR FURY, AND ALL OUR ANGER! CELESTIAL FURY!"

Udyr punched the air, creating a giant glowing fist the size of a building. Straight at the awe shocked group.

"HOLY-" Jarvan didn't get to finish, as the blast obilterated the team, the army, the turrets, the inhibitors, and the Nexus.

Udyr stared at the giant crater before him, before going off to find a giant ledge to roar trumpiantly from.

Regulation #9: Udyr will never use his ultimate in a match


	13. Gamebreaker 12: Wukong

"Alright, guys. I'll take mid, any questions?" Kennen asked.

"Hey, what's that?" Graves pointed up.

Something whacked Kennen's skull, instantly causing death.

The thing began to return, seeking another kill. The rest of the team began to dance around in order to avoid the deadly stick.

_On the other side of the map..._

The rest of the team watched as Wukong swung his elongated staff, hoping to hit something else.

Regulation #24: Wukong will not be allowed to grow his staff in order to increase his range.


	14. Gamebreaker 13: Trundle

Ziggs breathed hard as he thought.

The enemy was escaping and it was too far for him to use his super strength. However...

"TRUNDLE!"

The Cursed Troll looked up from licking his wounds.

"I need a fast ball special..."

As if those words were a code, Trundle perked up and ran into the nearby jungle. After a few zipping and rustling, Trundle came out, wearing his baseball skin. Standing in front of Ziggs, who was lighting his mega inferno bomb, Trundle stood up straight and took up a batting stance.

Ziggs threw the bomb at Trundle, who waited... and waited.

With a mighty swing, the bat connected with the bomb, sending the hexplosive far into the distance. After a few moments, a great explosion could be heard, as well as bloodcurling screams of pain.

"PENTAKILL!"

"HOME RUN!" Ziggs screamed, while Trundle ran around in circles, pandering to an imaginary crowd.

Regulation #601: Trundle may not assist Ziggs in throwing his ultimate.

Regulation #5: Champions may not change skins in mid-game.


	15. Gamebreaker 14: Graves II

"Hey, Graves. Where's destiny?"

It was a normal set up period, until Lux realized that Graves did not have his hextech shotgun with him and was instead tending to something covered under the tarp. The outlaw looked up and smirked.

"Oh, promised Heim that I would test one of his inventions. This one looked...promising..."

With that, he lifted the tarp, revealing what was under it. Lux and the rest of the blue team gaped as they saw what was under. Lifting it, he began to walk away from the summoning platform.

"I'll be taking mid."

_10 minutes later..._

**"A tower has been destroyed!"**

"How did we lose mid tower so fast?" Caitlyn shouted.

"Fate, what were you doing?" Zilean wondered out loud.

The bush rustled before revealing Graves, armed with the latest Hextech minigun. Graves only smirked at their sinking faces.

"CRY SOME MORE!"

**"DOUBLE KILL!"**

Regulation #701: Graves cannot test Heimerdinger's new inventions.


	16. Gamebreaker 15: Ahri

"I'll have a Bloodthrister." Graves told the shopkeeper as he deposited a bag of gold on the counter.

The shopkeeper nodded and slid the item towards the Outlaw. Grabbing it, the item began to shine and reduce in size, until it became a pendant. Graves wordlessly slung it around his neck.

Suddenly, Ahri popped in. Graves didn't pay her any mind, until the sound of jiggling caught his ear. Looking up, his eyes widened in surprise.

"Uh... Ahri?"

"Yes, Outlaw?" Graves took a moment to process his thoughts, before waving off.

"Nevermind."

The Nine-Tailed Fox shrugged at her teammate's actions and turned back to the shopkeeper, her tails careful not to drop the pendents hanging on them.

Regulation #680: Ahri may not use her tails in order to hold more items.


	17. Gamebreaker 16: Hecarim

Blue Team was pushing mid, about ready to advance on the mid inhibitor turret, when Taric noticed something passed through one of his wards.

"Guys," Taric shouted, "Hecarim's approaching from the side."

"Geez, doesn't he know better than to go without his team?" Lux asked.

"Wait, where is his team?" Miss Fortune asked.

"Well, they already respawned." Shen said, as he checked the boards.

Suddenly, Hecarim burst out and slammed into Lux. The rest of the team tried to assist here until they realized something.

Hecarim was carrying his team on his back...which were full of yordles.

"ATTACK!" Poppy roared as she leaped from Hecarim's back.

Blue team didn't stand a chance.

Regulation #901: Hecarim will not allow other champions to ride on his back.


	18. Gamebreaker 17: Caitlyn

Graves spawned, before realizing that he had a red dot on his forehead.

"W-WAIT!"

BANG!

"An enemy has been slain!"

"Hmm...I might have to petition the Institute after this. I believe I'm beginning to get worse."

Just then, Vladimir spawned. Caitlyn frowned, before lining up her shot again.

BANG!

"An enemy has been slain!"

Regulation #504: Headshots only cause increased damage, not instant death.


	19. Gamebreaker 18: Draven

"Come out and play. Draven needs some more vict- I mean, volunteers! Ha ha ha!" Draven chortled as he engaged in his deadly act.

Meanwhile, on the sidelines, Darius watched impassively while Katarina stared in awe.

"How can he do that?"

Darius shrugged.

"But there are so many! How can he juggle all of them and still wisecrack?"

Darius sighed.

"That's sooo Draven."

Regulation #5000: Draven may only have two spinning axes out at a time.


	20. Gamebreaker 19: Olaf

It was a peaceful and normal day in Summoner's Rift.

You can't get more blatant than that.

Katarina was running as fast as she could. Nevermind, she was running faster. Actually, she was running faster than possible. You could say that she was running so fast, Mother Nature wanted her to slow down, and if she could, Katarina would have flipped her off and threw a knife for good measure.

The point was, she was running all to avoid the demonic fury behind her.

She ran past the minions, who bravely attempted to stand in the way. However, they were righteously smote with extreme prejudice.

She ran past the turret, which began charging a shot at the incoming enemy. The person didn't even notice as he ripped the turret out of the ground and threw it away without breaking stride.

Katarina ran until she came across her team, who was planning the ingenious tactic known as a massive mid lane push.

"Alright, so here's the plan. First, we gather everyone in the team. Second, we kill everything that is not our minions, ourselves, or which pisses us off with its existence. Then we win. Any questions?" Garen asked.

Varus, Nautilus, and Sion were silent. Just then, Katarina ran up to them, or more specifically, Garen.

"Garey, there's a bad person after me. Can you and the other take care of him?" Katarina asked sweetly.

"Sure, Kat. Just know we're going to push mid, alright?"

"Wouldn't miss it. Love you." Kat said as she pulled down Garen's scarf and pecked him on the lips.

Garen pulled up his scarf. "Love you too."

As Katarina ran off, the rest of the team stared at Garen. The Might of Demacia shrugged.

"Marriage counseling does wonders."

"Ah…" The rest of the team accepted this explanation, until Nautilus spoke up.

"Wait, marriage counseling?"

At that moment, HE pounced.

"Yeah, I'd like a Rabadon's Deathcap, please." Katarina told the shopkeeper yordle.

Taking out the item out of his oversized backpack, he held it out to the Sinister Blade. Katarina took out a gigantic bag of gold about the size of the shopkeeper yordle and gave it, grabbing the item in one deft motion. The yordle didn't last two seconds before the giant bag of gold squished him under its weight. Katarina ignored the yordle's plaintive complaints about his broken parts of yordle anatomy.

The reason wasn't that she was a very cruel person and delighted in others' misfortune and pain other than her own. She was more concerned about the sounds of carnage and Garen's screaming about Varus' leg bone being shoved up his urethra. Soon the sounds died down and silence reigned.

"Garen? Are you alright?"

At that moment, the Nexus was ripped from its position and thrown away, beaning Baron Nashor in the face.

Katarina fell on her butt as she beheld the subject of her nightmares for the next few days.

His axes dripped blood. His eyes were bloodshot. His lips leaked drool. His beard bristled.

It was a pissed Olaf. Katarina had to use all her mental faculties to not **** in her leather pants.

"Look, Olaf. It was an accident, I won't do it again. Justlemmegoalrightcool?"

Olaf simply pointed a bloody axe in her direction.

"You mess with the beard, now you get reared." With that, the berserker leapt towards her. Katarina screamed so shrilly, only dogs would have heard her.

Nasus would spend the next couple of days nursing a headache.

Regulation #201: Olaf's beard will not be cut without his consent.

Regulation #202: Olaf will not overreact to people accidently snipping his beard.


	21. Gamebreaking 20: Annie

"No, you don't have enough gold." The shopkeeper yordle said to Annie.

"But I want one!" Annie whined as she pointed to Rabadon's Deathcap.

"Then maybe you should save up instead of blowing all your money on mana pots." The shopkeeper yordle told Annie.

Annie glared at the yordle.

The yordle was unaffected.

Annie glared harder at the yordle.

The yordle exploded into flames, yet still stood there, not giving a ****.

Annie glared the hardest she could at the yordle.

At that point, the shopkeeper yordle stopped paying attention and was spanking Evelyn, who he caught trying to steal from his stash again.

Annie could only pout. Just then Malcolm Graves showed up with a big bag of gold, and dropped it in front of the shopkeeper yordle.

"One Infinity Edge please." The shopkeeper yordle nodded as he rummaged through the sack.

As the Outlaw waited, he felt a tugging on his pants. Looking down, he saw the Dark Child looking at him pleadingly.

"Mr. Graves, can you buy me a Rabadon's Deathcap?" Annie asked.

Graves stared her down.

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

With that, Graves turned away, only for Annie to tug his pants harder.

"But I want one!"

"Then save up." Annie's silence greeted and so Graves turned away, thinking that was the end of it.

"WAH!" Annie began to cry, rivulets of tears flowing down her face.

At that point, Graves felt like a heel.

"Here you go, one Inf-"

"Give me a Rabadon's Deathcap."

"But…"

"No buts, just give it already."

The shopkeeper deftly switched the Infinity Edge for a Rabadon's Deathcap, and gave it to Graves. He then got down on one knee and held the item out for Annie.

"Here. Happy, kid?" Annie's eyes shined as she grabbed the item.

"Thank you, Graves. I love you!" She screamed in joy as she hugged Graves' neck, before skipping off.

The shopkeeper yordle stood next to the Outlaw.

"Health pots?"

"All that I can afford."

And so it went that match…

"I want Blue Buff!"

"You do know I can kill you, since I am on the other team?"

"WAH!"

"Alright, take it!"

"YAY!"

Ahri nursed a headache as Annie skipped off with the blue buff. Graves appeared next to her and held out a heath pot.

"Health Pot?"

"Thank you." Ahri began to drink, also signaling Yi not to gank Graves.

"We want Baron Buff!"

"Piss off, Annie. You want Baron, you can have over our dead bodies.

"WAH!"

"How dare you make a child cry! Here Annie, your team may have my blessing."

"YAY!"

"OH WHAT!"

PENTAKILL! ACE!

"Can I take your nexus?" Annie asked the Nexus Turrets.

Then Renekton showed up.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!"

With that, Renekton smacked Annie on the head with his weapon.

"WAH!" Annie cried as she held her bruised forehead.

"HE HIT A CHILD!" Nexus Turret #1 said.

"SMITE THE *******!" Nexus Turret #2 said.

"But you're on my team!" Renekton screamed.

The Turrets paid no attention as they blew the Butcher of the Sands to bits. Then they stood aside for Annie.

"Come, child. You may destroy our Nexus."

"YAY!"

Regulation #11: Annie may not cry to get her way.

Regulation #12: Champions cannot give items to other champions, ally or foe.

Regulation #13: Baron Nashor may not give his blessing when he is alive.

Regulation #14: Turrets may not fire on their aligned champions for any reason whatsoever.


	22. Author's Note II

Just a quick note. A few people on the League of Legends thread of this story has given me permission to post their entries onto here. Please note that these entries will be posted in their entirety, may be of differing quality, and that the reviews that you give to these chapters shall be reported back to their authors on the League of Legends thread.

Other than that, don't wait long.


	23. Gamebreaking 21: Shen

It was a terrible match for the blue team. They had lost all their towers except their inhibitor ones, and the enemy team was bearing down on them with an army of minions and a whole lot of trash talking.

Draven felt the need to have a little bit of fun, and began to taunt Shen.

"Hey, Shen! Compared to me, you're so then!"

Shen didn't respond, only slashing at a minion with his swords. Draven felt irked at his taunt being ignored.

"Your father smells like **** and your mother burns!"

Shen still didn't respond, only throwing a vorpal blade at another minion. At this point, Draven was grasping at straws.

"Umm…Order sucks?"

Shen stopped in mid-swing and glared at Draven. Everyone at that point stopped, as they saw that Shen actually responded, and that some **** was about to go down.

"Repeat those words, and you will regret it."

Draven's bravado and overinflated ego absolutely disregarded those words.

"Order suckssssss…"

Shen's eye twitched, before letting his hands drop to the side. Silence reigned over the battlefield, as Draven smirked at Shen, utterly unrepentant. Suddenly, Shen flipped over the enemy, landing right behind Draven.

The enemy team would have attacked Shen right there, but what they saw stopped them right in their tracks.

"HAAAA…" Shen breathed as his shirt ripped off without his hands touching it, revealing his very toned and muscular upper body. It should also be noted that his upper body had about 7 scars about the shape of a nickel in the pattern of a constellation.

Draven shook off his reverie (as well as any thoughts of being attracted to the Eye of Twilight) and tried to attack. Operative word: tried.

"ATATATATATATATATATATATATATA!" Shen shouted as he began to punch Draven so fast his fists were blurs.

"ASGGREJASDKGSEGFOGJSA!" was the only thing that spilled from Draven's mouth as he was pummeled with Shen's fists.

"WATA!" Finally, Shen delivered an uppercut that knocked Draven away. Immediately, Draven stood up and laughed.

"HA! You think your puny punches can hurt Draven?"

At that moment, Draven's head exploded. The rest of Draven's team looked at the body then at Shen. Shen gestured in the always awesome 'come at me'.

"WE SURRENDER!"

Regulation #17: Shen will not be allowed to utilize his martial art, Hokuto no Ken, in the Fields of Justice.


	24. Guest: Gruntala

By Gruntala

Most would agree that Malzahar's smile was incredibly creepy. Most would also agree that you should run away very fast, seeing as he was about to do something evil and void-y.

Ziggs wasn't thinking like normal people though, and only flashed the Prophet his own creepy smile before tossing bombs all over mid lane. He stopped when he heard Malzahar's voice in his head.

Soon, very soon, and... NOW

Ziggs wasn't worried when the purple cloud of energy surrounded him. He WAS worried when a certain tentacle faced elder god landed on him, killing him instantly.

Cthulhu then walked over and stepped on the enemy nexus, destroying it instantly.

Regulation #613: Malzahar may only summon minor void demons.


	25. Gamebreaking 22: Karthus

Kennen stared at Karthus as the minions battled in between them.

"So, ready to get your keister kicked?" Despite the cover, Karthus could feel the yordle's smirk. He scowled, or at least as best he could without lips.

"FOOLISH FOOL! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MY NEW SPELL!" With that, Karthus pointed his rod at Kennen. Kennen tensed, ready to evade.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" A light shot out and struck Kennen. The yordle made no sound as he dropped to the floor.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, YORDLE!"

No response.

"YORDLE?"

No response.

"Kennen?"

By this point, a crow had landed on Kennen's head, pecked it for a few moments, then flew off, leaving a white spot. Karthus moved right up and began poking the body with his foot.

"IT APPEARS MY NEW SPELL CAUSES INSTANT DEATH." With that, Karthus smirked the best he could as he tapped his bony fingers against each other.

"EXCELLENT."

It wasn't long before the enemy nexus exploded.

Regulation #210: Karthus will not be allowed to use any new spells that he had learned outside of the League.


	26. Guest: HuggableZombie

"Oy, you sure this'll work?" Gragas asked, his words slurred as usual.

"I guess we'll find out," Pantheon replied, taking the rope from Gragas.

Meanwhile:

The purple team all went to the middle lane, wondering where the blue team had gone.

"There is no one in the jungles," Udyr said.

"They are not in lane either," Irelia announced. The rest of the team began to look around confused at the absence of their enemy.

Pantheon's signature circle opened up around them, but they were all too busy to notice it. It wasn't until they heard the screaming of a giant dwarf that they looked up. Pantheon was flying through the air with 4 people tied to him.

"THIS WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA!" Gragas yelled. Nocturne, Alistar, and Vayne also screamed as they fell with great speed. Only Pantheon laughed as they began to descend.

Before the purple team could react, 5 large explosions peppered them.

"Ace"

"HA HA HA!" Pantheon laughed triumphantly.

Regulation #105: Pantheon is not allowed to handle any bonding materials within the fields of justice.


	27. Guest: Gruntala 2

Summoner's Rift was in ruins.

Every single tree had been trampled, every tower destroyed, every minion flattened by thousands of screaming fangirls. All chasing after one guy, who was running away in panic.

Regulation #450: Vladimir is not allowed to wear anything sparkly


End file.
